remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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