Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
