trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
