well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
