Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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