I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
