I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
