I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
