No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize