You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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