i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
