He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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