Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hippo gnu deer
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
