apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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