No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
