dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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