singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
