did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize