i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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