Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
