i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
