Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
