it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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