Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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