The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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