You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
