when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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