He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Boobs are out for the taking
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
