1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
