That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
