i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize