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Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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