I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize