Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
