We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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