i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
