either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
