I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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