First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love having hate sex.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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