have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
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Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
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Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.