i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.