I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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