Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize