Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
