he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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