remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
