im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
