His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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