This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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