The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
