i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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