Sry I called you an 8
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
