it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
