I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
