Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
