Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My bed smells like the plague
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
