Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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