last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
