you thought your balls were fighting each other...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
