We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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