i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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