i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
