I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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